It’s 3:00pm and the kids are still in their pajamas, toys litter the floor, the noise level is at mega decibel level and the laundry pile is overflowing. None of the fun activities I had planned for the day have even been pulled out yet. I find the toddlers crumpling papers and ripping them into tiny shreds (hey wait, were those papers part of our planned activity?) and I can’t remember if anyone has even eaten lunch yet. I was up half the night with children who think sleep is optional and I am running on empty.
My mind immediately goes to thoughts of defeat. I can’t do this. I am not cut out for this. I’m wondering what God was thinking because I’m certain that I’m not doing a good job at this stay-at-home-mom thing. Maybe I should just go back to work…..
Not that I wasn’t working, mind you. Because this full-time job of taking care of little people was way harder than the office job I had left.
As the feelings of frustration and defeat mounted, what came next could best be described as a freak out. I must’ve looked like a maniacal woman as I threw my arms in the air, shouted some words of frustration at the kids, burst into tears and then quickly retreated to the bathroom and shut the door.
Feeling full of shame and not knowing what to do with myself or my kids, I begged Jesus to please help me.
I was certain that I was a total and complete failure as a mom.
Don’t Believe the Lies
Maybe you can relate. Maybe you’ve had those moments where you’ve been tired and frustrated and then reacted to a situation that felt out of control. And then maybe you too have heard the lies that follow.
Back in those days when my kids were little, friends or acquaintances would look at me and tell me I was a really good mom. They saw a cute blond-haired boy, smart as a whip, and adorable twin girls who dressed in matching outfits. At the time I figured those people must’ve just thought the kids were cute and were saying that to be nice to me.
I believed the lies in my head more than I believed the people around me.
Years later it’s way easier for me to think back to those days of chaos and my less than impressive moments and give myself some grace. I was completely sleep deprived while going through several huge transitions and I also struggled with anxiety. But at the time I was very hard on myself.
When I had worked full-time I actually got things accomplished during the day and heard words of praise. Life at home felt so repetitive with feedings, diapers, toy pick up and an occasional shower with not much positive feedback to speak of. It was exhausting. And lonely.
But the lies were the worst. Sneaky lies that came out when I was the most weak.
Unworthy. Unaccomplished. Inadequate. Failure.
Have you ever had those thoughts?
A Resource to Battle the Lies & Calm the Crazy
How can a mom battle the lies of the enemy when we she is so tired and weary?
But as a tired momma of littles it can be hard to find the time to dig into God’s Word. And then when you do actually find an opportunity to sit down it can be tough to comprehend what you are reading.
So my answer to prayer in those days came in the form of music.
It was an album called Hidden in My Heart Full Disclosure: We earn a commission if you click this link and make a purchase, at no additional cost to you. and I heard about it from a blogger I was following at the time. She talked about how great it was for her children but when I heard a sample of the songs I knew it would be great for ME, as much as for my children.
As I listened words of truth and love poured out. What a beautiful sound to my ears, my heart, my soul! Praise His holy name!
Each time I popped on the music I hoped and prayed that the true meaning of the words would soak deep into the hearts of me and my sweet babes. Someday I knew that my children would need to hold onto Jesus and his promises with all their might, just like I did at that moment.
We listened to that music often in those days and it helped me so much. And it also helped calm the crazy when things started to get chaotic in the house.
Nowadays I get a lot more sleep and uninterrupted showers but we still have some tough days in our house. It looks more like sibling fights, hurt feelings, bad attitudes and me wondering if I’m doing enough to help prepare my children’s hearts and minds. It’s different but it’s still not easy.
I’ve recently begun to listen to this music again as I feel those sneaky lies surfacing. My daughter heard the music and said what is this? It’s so peaceful!
The lies are fierce but God’s Truth will always overcome.
The name of the company that makes the music is Scripture Lullabies but it’s not just for babies and children. It’s for anyone!
If you ever feel like you need some peaceful music in your home these albums are a great option!
And if you are currently working on developing a habit of gratitude, it can help you and your kids focus when it’s time to write in your gratitude journals.
I encourage you to check out the Scripture Lullabies site or head over to Amazon to order a CD Full Disclosure: We earn a commission if you click this link and make a purchase, at no additional cost to you. or download the album.
Hidden In My Heart: A Lullaby Journey Through Scripture Price:
You can purchase the CD Full Disclosure: We earn a commission if you click this link and make a purchase, at no additional cost to you. or download Full Disclosure: We earn a commission if you click this link and make a purchase, at no additional cost to you. for any of of the three albums. And if you have an Amazon Prime membership you are in luck because albums two Full Disclosure: We earn a commission if you click this link and make a purchase, at no additional cost to you. and three Full Disclosure: We earn a commission if you click this link and make a purchase, at no additional cost to you. are free to listen to if you have a membership. The most recent album, Quietly Full Disclosure: We earn a commission if you click this link and make a purchase, at no additional cost to you. , is a piano album and that is also free with your Prime membership.
Blessings to you as you move forward on this crazy parenting journey with Jesus by your side!
(Note: I was not paid or asked to share this resource. I am doing so simply because I love Scripture Lullabies music and hope it can help other moms and kids as much as it helped us. However, there are affiliate links included in this post. Please see my disclosure policy for more information.)
Amy Pfeiffer says
Beautiful and heartfelt message. Very well-written. And you’re a fantastic Mom!